Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Kim Kardashain: Pregnancy Role Model

Remember when Kim Kardashian was pregnant and we all made fun of her for resembling Sea World's most popular attraction?

Remember when the media would call her fat? and yell crazy mean things to her? Remember that? And I say "we" because more likely than not you've clicked on an article or two about her weight gain, meaning you've supported this in some way. Side note: the media is still calling her fat because she hasn't lost the baby weight yet. I'll admit that I too looked at some pictures of her and thought "Man! she's gained weight" or "why is she wearing that?" (let's be honest, some of her outfits were.... questionable) but that was the old me. The skinny me. The non-pregnant me.

For the first time in my life, I want to give Kim Kardashian a hug and tell her that I'm sorry. I always thought it was easy to have a "thin pregnancy" but boy was I wrong. SO WRONG. So wrong it hurts to write. This is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with, both physically and mentally. And if I were a celebrity like Kim Kardashain then I most definitely would have turned into 2007 Britney Spears. Throwing umbrellas at the camera, shaving my head, and wearing the worst extensions to the MTV music awards... all while pregnant.

One of the hardest things for me to comprehend is my changing body. And when I mean changing, I mean BIG changes. Like who's hips are these? and since when have I needed a bigger bra? It's not a gradual change either. Every morning I notice something different, something bigger, and something I'm not used to. I get it. I'm pregnant and I'm literally growing a human being in my lower abdomen. But that 2-3 oz human being is adding a lot more than 2-3 oz to my body.

Just to clarify, I'm not complaining about gaining weight. I know that my body is making sure that I deliver a healthy baby in 5 months. But I'm a woman and I'll admit I compare my body to other women. Specifically, pregnant women. More specifically, the pregnant women who gain practically nothing, workout morning and night, and who are having the time of their life.

If you're one of those women.... I can't stand you. I'm swimming in a pool of jealousy wishing I could have your body. I want your hair, your skin, your small arms. I want it all! And here's what's awful, you can't help it, just like I can't help the fact that my skinny jeans don't fit anymore. We're all in the same boat, I'm just the angry one that no one wants to hang out with. I'm mad thinking I would always have an awesome body during pregnancy. I'm mad at these changes. I'm mad that I'm mad.


THIS IS HARD. MENTALLY HARD. And Pinterest doesn't make it ANY easier.

I mean, you're cute and all but I don't like you right now.

I need to stop. I need to stop comparing myself to these women because WE'RE ALL DIFFERENT. I used to say it all the time when I would CrossFit and compare myself to other CrossFitters. We all workout at a different pace, none of us lift the same. Our bodies are not the same. Our metabolisms are not the same. Our hair is not the same. Our skin is not the same. Our pregnancies ARE NOT THE SAME. Plain and simple. 

I need to look at the bigger picture. Who cares about my body? One person and that person weighs 2-3 oz and is the size of a orange. That person will also enter this world loving me unconditionally. I'm all he/she will have ever known and it'll need me more than ever. It's not going to be concerned with my love handles, flabby arms, or stretch marks. It won't care how many pounds I've packed on, what size jeans I'm wearing, or that skinny pregnant girl over there who's rocking her short shorts and sports bra. WHO... CARES.... no one who matters, that's who.

Listen Kim K. we can get through this together. No need to give statements about your weight, you need to stop defending your body from people who have no idea what it's like. I look up to you and the way you handled yourself over 9 months. There's no way I could rock some of those outfits you put on. I realize you don't have the best reputation when it comes to marriage or making... videos... but your pregnancy reputation is amazing. You are my pregnancy role model, and you've helped me realize that I can get through this too (minus the paparazzi.) 

Friday, February 14, 2014

Long time, no blog

Well hello there! It's been a couple weeks, hasn't it? I've been running around central Arkansas covering winter weather and other news. It's been exhausting and I'm hoping things start to settle down a little bit.

see all that snow?! ... welcome to the south! 

I had to stop sharing pictures at the peace sign and duck face. Obviously, I was not in the right state of mind when that picture was taken. 

So, what have you missed besides winter weather? A lot actually. Let's get you caught up...

-We had another doctors appointment. It was at 2:00 pm but we didn't see the doc until 4:00, that was fun. We heard a heartbeat again (160bpm) and saw the doctor for about 10 seconds. I got on the scale and learned that I've gained 6 pounds. Holllla! We have another appointment March 5, and two weeks after that we find out whether this little gummy bear is a boy or a girl. 

13 Weeks
-I crave gummy bears. 

-I'm actually starting to let go of the bad food. For the past several days, I've eaten a lot of carrots and celery. I've moved back to my healthy plain protein yogurt and eat lots of fruits. The thought of bagel bites, french fries, and cheeseburgers makes me sick. This is a good thing considering my thighs don't fit in my skinny jeans anymore. The last time I lost my water was Monday morning, which means we're slowly but surely getting OUT of this awful nausea phase. 

-Emily turned ONE!!! 

We celebrated by adding bacon in her breakfast and dinner. It was snowing that day so we couldn't take her to the park or anything. I don't think it bothered her too much though.. 

Being one years old is exhausting. In fact, she's sleeping sitting up while I'm writing this blog post. Ruff life.

-We bought a crib!! It's this one from Target. It was on sale + we got a free mattress. It was a steal!! While I was looking at beds, I lost Nate and couldn't find him until.... 

how cute is he?! He literally went through all of those car seats to see which one had the best reviews. He weighed them. He walked around with them. And then he moved on to the strollers... It was a long trip to Target to say the least but I'm happy to see him get so excited. I sometimes think he is more excited than me, and I'm totally ok with that since I still don't feel like this is actually happening. 

I think I caught you up on everything. I thought I had a lot more to share but I'm boring like that and I've also been up since 3:00 this morning. I think it's time for a quick nap then a Valentine's Date with my handsome man. (he bought me a diaper bag this year.... how romantic!!) 

Y'all have a good weekend! And since this winter mess is gone, I'll be sure to write more often. I want to document every second of our lives before this baby comes. I want to be able to go back and read what my old life used to be like. Quiet and boring!! haha!