Thursday, October 17, 2013

I 100% Failed... juicing.

Before I dive into my complaints here, I just want you to be warned that I'm hungry and would do anything for ice cream. anything. My mouth is watering at the thought of bread, chips and salsa, and yogurt. I couldn't sleep last night because my stomach was growling, and all I've thought about today is FOOD. sushi. tacos. spaghetti. chicken. bbq. I need all of that, ALL OF THAT in my stomach right now. This cleanse is making me crazy and I don't feel clean at all. I have headaches. I don't want to drink 9 gallons of water. And please, can I not add beets to my juice? Hashtag thanks.

So... guess what I did? I stopped.

I stopped the juicing.

I couldn't do it for another 24-hours, I probably wouldn't have survived another night, and to think I thought I could do this for 7 days. No. WAY.

Call me a total cry baby, I don't care, I love food. and I don't eat THAT bad. Yes, I may shove a cheeseburger down my throat every other day weekend, but that shouldn't call for a 7 days of death body cleanse.

Since I spent $78 at the store for this mess I thought of some excuses reasons as to why it's 100% ok for me to quit the juicing...

1. You can use all of the ingredients in other recipes. Except for the beets (sorry, they taste like dirt).

it looks like dirt too
2. You already eat healthy 94% of the time.

3. How will your body react to food after this little cleanse? Will it go into shock? Will you be able to walk again? Will your head fall off?

4. I want to run. And since I'm hungry/feel sick there's no way I'm running A MILE feeling like that. Just no.

5. The recipe makes at least 10 cups PER juice. You need to drink 4-6 a day. It took me 4 hours to finish my breakfast yesterday. FOUR HOURS!!! that's not ok.

6. You need coffee to function.

and just like that, I stopped what I was doing and ate an apple. A leftover pancake from earlier this week. Currently, I'm opening up a yogurt while throwing raisins and pumpkin seeds into my mouth, and later I will fulfill my dreams of chocolate ice cream (what? it's organic) so TAKE THAT JUICE!! I never want to see you again unless champagne is involved. For anyone who's ever accomplished this, bless you. Seriously it takes a champion to do that. From here on out I'll make juices for breakfast but that's it. I can handle the grapes/blueberries/apples drinks, but when you start adding garlic and beets, I'm OUT! Have you ever done a juicing? How did you make it through?

Also, I shattered my iPhone 5 today. That may or may not have been the golden reason as to why I needed food so badly. Whatever.



  1. Bless you for even trying! I don't think I would do good on a juice diet.. I am too much of a pansy when it comes to consistency! Great job for the little while you did the juice thing.. go have some ice cream and celebrate food!!

  2. I juice evety morning for breakfast and that's all I can do. Cleanses are for the birds and while your at it, send a cheeseburger my way. K thanks!

  3. I never thought I would be avle to do.a whole dayn let alone a whole week. I'd rather substitute a meal or snack every day with the juice instead. A for effort though!

  4. At least you tried! I thought about doing a juice cleanse, and as soon as I thought of it I dismissed it. There is no way I would make it past one drink.. so kudos to you!
    Sorry to hear about your iPhone! I would have had to have ice cream, immediately, after that.

  5. i just straight up couldn't do it. im not a nutritionist but cutting out carbs isn't necessarily the answer, just bad ones.. i know im annoying but you have no energy /o carbs

  6. We've been going back and forth on deciding if we want to get a juicer! You post was very helpful! xo

  7. i am impressed you even attempted. personally i am all about heating healthy most of the time and calling it good enough. no way i could commit to juicing,.

  8. HAHA I love you. I do.

    I don't think I could do this noise either. I can't drink my meals.. unless it's wine or vodka.

    Also, have you roasted beets? They are delicious that way, I swear.

  9. I couldn't do it. I love food wayyyy to much. and alcohol. gotta have it.

  10. I did a juice 'cleanse' for 5 days, but I allowed myself to eat a small dinner (chicken, fish w/veggies) so I could keep my sanity. Losing coffee was enough of a struggle that I knew I wouldn't be able to do it without food at dinner.

  11. Hey girlie (it's Amanda C from the TAB)! First off, your blog is way cute! Second, beets are kinda gross... and Third, you are right...I usually do a smoothie for breakfast and/or dinner and that's about it! Oh, and that's another thing...are you actually just "juicing?" I usually add at least two of my ingrediants pre-frozen...for some reason the stuff goes down a lot easier for me if it's got more of a freezing cold, smoothie texture! Just a suggestion! :)