Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Online Dating 101
before we get started I just want to clarify that I did not meet my husband online. Maybe one day I'll share the story of how we met, but sadly, today is not that day. You see, this post is for the ones who are trying to find love on this beautiful place we call the world wide web. It's also for the ones who are doing it all wrong.
If you would have asked me 5 years ago if I was ok with dating websites I would have rolled my eyes and said "ew, gross". However, I was 20 and thought I knew everything about life. Today, I think they're great way for people to meet, especially for people who are constantly busy and don't have time for a social life. So when my friend Sarah* called me Monday night dishing about her unsuccessful dating life the past 6 months, my immediate reaction was, "have you tried online dating?" her response was no, but she had been thinking about joining a site.
My response, "Great! I'm sitting in front of my computer now, let's FaceTime while I make you a match.com profile... what's your credit card number?"
and for the next hour we put together the perfect profile for her. The site asks pretty generic questions like "Tell us a little about you..." and "What do you do for fun?" and yada yada yada. They sound like pretty easy questions to answer but here's where most people mess up. My first advice,
THIS IS FUN!! DATING IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN!!
Tell me what you like to cook, which football team you hate, and what's your favorite song to sing at the top of your lungs in the car? Keep it girly, fun, but also relatable for a guy. And I know match.com only gives you 250 characters to work with, but let's be real, that's all you need to capture the attention of a boy. Drop the "Just a girl, looking for her soulmate" HELLLLLO immediate RED FLAG and that hot guy is going somewhere else. Again, just be yourself... minus the crazy girlfriend thing.
Second piece of advice,
this isn't Craigslist let's clean up that grammar.
So we wrote her headline, her about me, and everything in between. I was enjoying trying to be her the best way I could. She's one of my best friends, I know her like the back of my hand. We laughed until our stomachs hurt making this profile. But the best part has yet to begin....
It was time to publish her profile, and I think I was just as nervous as her. I reminded her that this is a good thing and a great way to meet new people. And just like that, it was public. All of our hard work was right in front of us just waiting to be viewed.
There's only so much time you can spend looking at your profile until you realize that that's not going to get you dates. So Sarah* clicked around and talked about all of her potential soul mates that match.com said she was compatible with. She then stumbled upon a handsome fella who I'll call Matt*. Sarah* was head over heels looking at Matts* pictures, so I told her to send him a message.
Her jaw dropped on the floor and said "NO WAY!"
My third piece of advice,
You're on match.com. You're looking for someone to love. Guess what, he's also on match.com and he's also looking for someone to love. You're in the same boat so who cares who talks first. Throw away anything that says "girl rules" on it and start fresh. SEND. HIM. A. MESSAGE.
So she did. It was casual and cute, nothing over the top. I may or may not have helped her write it but that's not the point.
It was getting late, so she and I called it a night.
The next morning I wake up to a text or two from Sarah*. She received more than 30 messages, countless winks, and hundreds of views on her profile. But most importantly, Matt* responded and they've been chatting ever since. I've been giving her tips and pointers on her responses but other than that it's all her.
and finally, my last piece of advice,
if Sarah* doesn't respond to you, that doesn't mean you can send her 5 more messages asking what she's doing or if she wanted to hang out this weekend. CHILL. She'll get back to you if she's interested.
... not that I've been reading her messages or anything... oops! what? it's for the blog...
Posted by Maxine Elizabeth